Alice Suffers From What?
by Niphuria
Summary: Tarrant overhears Alice confide in Mirana that she has a strange condition.  Is his Alice ill?  And is there anything he can do to help her?


I don't own Alice in Wonderland or any of its characters. Based on the 2010 Tim Burton film.

Tarrant overhears Alice confide in Mirana that she has a strange condition. Is his Alice ill? And is there anything he can do to help her?

Special thanks to green-as-elphaba for the idea behind this!

**Alice Suffers From What?**

Finally, all was ready! Tarrant had Mirana's official approval to ask for Alice's hand in marriage, he had a beautiful engagement and wedding ring for her, her entire wedding ensemble hand-made lovingly by himself, a wedding suit for himself, and enough money in his vault in Mirana's Palace to be considered quite wealthy. What else did he need?

Oh, yes. He needed the acceptance of his beloved. Tarrant should have felt confident. He and Alice loved each other deeply and with complete and utter trust and devotion. They even considered themselves Bond Mates. So, why should he be afraid that Alice would possibly reject the actual Ceremony that would Bind them together for all Time?

Tarrant sat down on a bench in his Workroom, the engagement ring in his pocket. Well, firstly, Alice did not like conformity. Wasn't marriage a conformity? Also, she did not like to be tied to rules and customs and any sort of expectations. If she married him, wouldn't that mean that she would feel that she was tying herself to those very things? The very things that she so hated in her former World?

He sighed. He loved her and wanted nothing more than to marry her and have her marry him so that he could officially claim her as his Hightopp bride. And then, if they so desired, they could begin a family any time they chose. That was one of the Hightopp Magics. Once in the Clan, among other available magics that Tarrant couldn't recall at the moment, he and Alice could choose when to start a family. _If_ they decided to start one. He would never push Alice on the matter. He loved children, but he loved Alice more. If she decided, for any reason, that she did not wish for them to have children, he would respect that. With Alice at his side he could die the last Hightopp male and be a happy man.

Tarrant stood. For now, however, he had to work up his Muchness and propose to her. He would wait until they were dismissed for the day from their Palace duties and take her into the most secluded part of the Queen's Gardens that he could find. And then he would kneel before her, take her delicate little hands in his and...

He groaned. He couldn't even think the words without beginning to sweat with fear! Before today he had been so confident! Now he was a poor excuse for a Royal Hatter. He couldn't even think about proposing marriage without being overcome with terror. He couldn't bear to think that she may refuse him.

"No!" He slammed his fist on the table. He had planned this and prepared for months. Of course she would accept him! His sweetling would accept him gladly and joyously. Of course she would!

Tarrant patted his pocket. Yes, the ring was safe in its box. It was the end of his day's duties. He had completed every order and finally had placed the finishing touches on Alice's wedding veil.

Tarrant hoped that Alice was finishing up her duties right now. He had to head to her office at once and find out before he lost his nerve.

The Hatter dabbed the perspiration from his face and took a deep breath. He closed his Workroom and locked the door. Then he walked down the corridors toward Alice's office. On the way he passed by Mirana's informal receiving room and stopped short when he heard voices inside. One of those voices was Alice's!

He was just about to knock when he heard Alice say something terrible...

* * *

Flashback -

Alice had finished her duties for the day and decided to pay Mirana an informal visit. The Queen and her friend, if not occupied, usually spent her time in her informal receiving room. Alice decided to confide something to Mirana. It wasn't anything terribly bad, she thought, yet she did wonder about herself. The very strong sensations that assailed her constantly were beginning to cause her to wonder if she were, as she had always believed, normal. If not, then there was perhaps something terribly wrong with her and hopefully Mirana would have a solution.

Alice knocked at the door and the Queen answered and swept Alice into an embrace before the young woman could even greet her.

"Alice! It's always such a pleasure!" Mirana kissed her best friend and Alice giggled in delight and returned the kiss.

"I didn't even have time to greet you and ask if you were busy!"

"Well," Mirana said, giggling herself now, "it's obvious that I'm not. Come in, dear! Let's have some tea and chat!"

The women stepped into the room and Mirana closed the door. They seated themselves at the small table and Mirana poured tea for the both of them. Somehow, she always had tea on that table. Alice was beginning to wonder if the tea magically sprang from the table itself!

"Now, my dear sister, tell me what is on your mind! I can feel that something is."

Alice blushed. "How do you always know these things?"

Mirana shrugged and gracefully lifted her tea cup to her lips and took a tiny sip. "I don't know. I think it's just part of who I am. I can sense things. I have always been able to. So, please tell me, Alice. Tell me what concerns you. I don't know what it is but I can feel that it embarrasses you."

Alice folded her hands in her lap and lowered her eyes to study them. "Yes, well, it is rather embarrassing. Mirana, I don't know if I am a normal woman or not. I wonder if I have an illness, or a...abnormality of some sort. Perhaps I am a bit mad from living here. Or perhaps I am mad regardless. I..." She stopped and swallowed uncomfortably.

Mirana leaned over and placed her hand on her friend's arm. "Please, dear, you can tell me."

Alice shifted now and took a sip of the tea. Lemon. It made her feel bolder. Well, she had come to speak to Mirana, hadn't she? Best to just be out with it.

"Mirana, I am...constantly attracted to Tarrant!"

"But of course you are! You two are in love!"

"No, I mean, I am constantly..._attracted _to Tarrant!"

Mirana looked puzzled. "I don't follow you."

Oh, goodness! Was the woman dense? Alice gritted her teeth.

"Mirana, I constantly...want to...make love with Tarrant!" There! She had said it.

"Oh!" Mirana was barely able to suppress a bubble of laughter that threatened to come forth. There was nothing wrong with her friend!

"Alice," she began, but was interrupted.

"Mirana," Alice said, tears welling in her eyes now. "I have been spending some time in your library! I found a word that seems to describe me! It says that I'm abnormal! That my desires are excessive! That these feelings and drives are not in every woman! And the book is one that Nivens brought back from Above. The word is...nymphomaniac!"

Mirana had to admit to herself that she had never heard the word before. It somehow sounded fitting, however. But she had to calm Alice.

"Alice, there is nothing at all wrong with you. Strong sexual desire is not abnormal nor is it an illness! Besides, you would feel such a drive more than any woman in Underland regardless. You love a Hightopp!"

"What has that to do with anything?" Alice asked.

"Well, how shall I put this delicately..." the Queen began. "Ah! Yes. Alice, the Hightopp's, as with any Clan of the Outlands, has their own unique magics. One of those magics is the urge for intimacy with loved ones. The intimacy is a very powerful drive regardless of whether or not the couple has children. Another magic is that a Hightopp couple can choose whether or not to have children, and when."

"So," Alice began, "my strong desire for intimacy is because I love Tarrant and he is a Hightopp?"

Mirana laughed now, freely and easily. "Yes! That is all, Alice. There is nothing abnormal about it! Just accept the Hightopp...benefits, and enjoy them!"

Alice smiled.

* * *

Present -

Tarrant was frozen in place.

"So, I suffer from Nymphomania and there is nothing I can do about it but accept it."

"I'm afraid so, dear. I have no doubt whatever that Tarrant will, ah, bear with you."

"I'm sure he will, Mirana. Tarrant is very strong."

Tarrant burst into tears. His sweetling was sick? She suffered from something that there was no cure for? No! That could not be! There had to be something that could be done.

He fled the Palace.

Absolem couldn't remember the last time he had been so annoyed. He was peacefully sitting on his favourite branch smoking his hookah and who should interrupt him but the Mad Hatter himself?

"Absolem! Absolem, you've got to help me! You've got to help Alice! She's...she's..." Tarrant doubled over in fatigue, his chest heaving and his heart racing.

Absolem puffed and blew smoke towards Tarrant's face. The Hatter choked and scowled at him.

"How can you be that way when I'm trying to tell you that Alice is sick?"

Now he had Absolem's attention. "She's sick?"

"Yes! And Mirana told her that there was nothing that could be done. And she said that I would be strong for Alice."

"And what did the Doctor say?" Absolem asked.

"I didn't hear it from the bloody Doctor!" Tarrant shouted. "I went to fetch Alice and I heard her speaking with Mirana in her receiving room. And I heard Alice say that she understood that there was nothing for it but to bear it! Absolem, Alice has Nymphomania and there is no cure!"

Absolem had always had a soft spot for Alice. If there was something wrong with the girl and there was anything he could do, he would. He had never heard of Nymphomania, but perhaps he could discover something.

"Very well, Hightopp. Let us go to the Palace and speak with the Queen. I need to hear this for myself."

* * *

Absolem fluttered into Mirana's receiving room through the always opened window and landed on her table. Alice was nowhere in sight.

"Absolem? What brings you here?" Mirana asked in surprise. "I'm pleased to see you, but I can honestly say that this visit is quite a surprise."

"Can you? Why would you be surprised? Tarrant is on his way as well."

"Is he? Well, if he is looking for Alice she has just left to go and see him in his Workroom."

"You haven't even consulted the Doctor yet?"

Mirana set down her tea cup. "Whatever for? Are you ill? Is Tarrant?"

Absolem almost said 'stupid girl' but then remembered that this was the Queen of Underland, not the Champion. He fluttered his wings in irritation.

"Alice is sick and you haven't even consulted the Doctor yet?"

"What? Alice isn't sick! Whatever gave you that idea?"

Absolem was puzzled. The woman had no idea of what he spoke!

"Mirana, Hightopp came to me. He overheard you and Alice say that Alice has something that cannot be cured; something that she would have to simply endure."

Mirana burst into laughter. Absolem's angry fluttering soon stilled her laughter, however.

"Absolem, I can assure you that our Champion is not ill. Obviously, Tarrant only heard the very end of our conversation. Alice came to me concerned about what she perceived as her excessive sexual drive. As I recall, after I assured her that it was perfectly normal, especially when one is involved with a Hightopp, her precise words were 'so, I suffer from Nymphomania and there is nothing I can do but accept it?' Absolem, we were joking!"

"Joking?" Absolem sighed in irritation. But when Mirana began to laugh once more he couldn't help but let out a chuckle of his own.

* * *

Tarrant met Alice at the entrance to his Workroom. She smiled and he felt his heart break a little. He pulled her into a fierce embrace and Alice eagerly returned it. But when he began to sob into her hair she pulled back, puzzled.

"Tarrant? What's wrong?"

He looked at her with deep blue eyes flecked with grey. "Hae kin yeh say tha' te meh? Yeh jus' fin' out tha' yer dyin' an' yeh ask meh wha' wrong?"

"Dying? Tarrant, I'm not dying! What ever gave you such a notion?" She was truly baffled.

Tarrant was about to respond but then the meaning of her words seeped into his grief-stricken brain. She wasn't dying? She was all right? Or at least she didn't suffer from anything serious?

"Ah...Ah her' yeh' an' Mirana say tha' yeh suffered from Nymphomania an' tha' it can nae be helped!"

Oh! He had heard her and Mirana talking! The poor dear thought she was ill! He had misunderstood everything!

"Tarrant," she said, cradling his tear-streaked face in her hands, "I'm not dying. In fact, quite the opposite." Alice peered into his eyes to make sure he was understanding her. His eyes were gradually changing back to their normal green.

She smiled and stroked his cheekbones with her thumbs. "I went to Mirana to discuss something that was worrying me, but I'm no longer worried. The truth is..." Bother! She was still shy when discussing intimate matters! "The truth is that I told her that I was afraid that my constant desire for you was abnormal. Above, when a woman has excessive sexual drive the term used is Nymphomania."

Tarrant began to smile and his tears to slow. "An' wha' did she seh?" He thought he knew, however.

"She said that because I'm in love with a Hightopp that my...urges were perfectly normal. In fact, they would be extremely high because that is part of the magic of your Clan." She blushed and couldn't quite meet his gaze when she finished speaking.

Tarrant cleared his throat and tried to banish his brogue. He didn't want Alice to feel that he was teasing her, especially since she had been sincerely worried. He covered her hands with his own.

"Alice?"

She swallowed and looked up at him.

"Come with me."

She took his arm and he lead her outside and to the most secluded part of the Queen's Gardens that he could find. Well, the Gardens were quiet and secluded all over right now, but that didn't matter. He lead her to their favourite spot, next to the largest white rose bush and beside a small pond filled with tiny silver fish.

Tarrant felt calm and confident. He knelt before his sweetling and took her hands in his own. Her eyes widened but he pressed on.

"Alice, my love, my sweetling, I've loved you since you first came late to my Tea Party as a little girl. I've loved you every visit, every time, and now for nearly every day of your life since your first visit. I knew that I couldn't bear to be parted from you ever again since I saw you in the Red Queen's castle as a grown woman. We're building a life together that I cannot even contemplate being without. I love you more than my own life, more than Underland, more than even my Clan name. But I would be the proudest and happiest man in any World if you would consent to be my wife."

He pulled the box from his pocket and removed the lid. Inside was a silver ring with a heart-shaped diamond surrounded by tiny pale blue stones.

Alice gasped. He had asked her! He had really, truly, finally asked her! She barely saw the ring. She knelt down before him and flung her arms around his neck.

"Yes, Tarrant! Yes, yes, yes! I'll marry you!" She burst into happy tears and buried her face in his neck.

Tarrant laughed in relief and delight and didn't try to unwind her arms from around him. The placement of the ring on her finger could wait a few minutes. She would be his wife! He would be her husband. There would soon be two Hightopps in Underland.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this small piece. I've been planning on finally having Tarrant propose to Alice and green-as-elphaba came up with the wonderful idea of Alice having to explain to Tarrant what a Nymphomaniac is. So I decided to combine the two and came up with this. I hope it wasn't too silly for a proposal, but I AM silly and so is Tarrant, quite a bit. All comments are welcome.


End file.
